Road Trippin'

When you're wrong, you're wrong...and I was...mistaken. OK, I know I said I thought I could save our carpet, since it was only drenched with tap water, but NoooOOOooo, that would be too easy. The evening of "The Great Spill", I pulled up half the carpet and took it outside to dry. The next day I noticed it had a hellacious water stain on it. Not only that, it had an odor I can only describe as...horse. An unclean equine, a fragrant filly, a pungent pinto. I think you get the drift. (See what I did there?)

On top of that, it was evident that 5 years of traffic on 45 sq. ft. of carpet had taken it's toll on the pad. I decided this would be a great time for new carpet. (Yeah, I'm a genius that way!) Visions of a dark tan stain-resistant berber danced in my head. Alas, it was not to be. I was jerked back to reality by the lady in charge, who I lovingly refer to as "She That Must Be Obeyed". Anyway, she's been harping telling me for some time now how she'd love to have hardwood flooring in the house. I'd been resisting the change with every excuse I could think of. I mean, why cast out completely comfortable carpeting in order to fulfill a female flooring fancy. But she knew she had me cold. There was no getting around it this time. The carpet was ruined and had to come out. It was like coming home to find your favorite house slippers had been thoroughly chewed by the family hound and were on their way to the curb.

It had to happen sometime, I suppose. I bucked up and pulled out the remaining carpet. Together we cut it up into manageable pieces. I sneaked some looks at her from time to time out of the corner of my eye, watching for any sign of a smirk or the victory dance, but saw only an earnest expression. Man, she was gooood. After disposing of the carpet and pad, we situated the fan to blow across the swamp that was once our floor. A few hours later, it looked as though it was going to survive.

During our trip to Man Land, we found how expensive hardwood flooring is some very nice flooring. After a lot of whining and some shedding of tears, we both decided on an Oak finish. She helped me up off the floor and dried my eyes, saying something about a shoe sale at Payless as she dragged me towards the door. Somewhere, from deep within me, I heard a tiny voice screaming "NOOOOOOOOoooooo".

Tune in next time for "I Am Eaten By A Shark".



-Aloha-